Princess Fifi’s special friend…

To be honest, I have been without a mate for some time (my standards are oh so high, being a princess and all) only recently to have my inner slut reveal her sexy ass. So I have a great relationship with myself, and my special toy, the Hitachi magic wand. I must say that this is not my first vibrator but it is the very best. I have graduated from a back and neck massager to an all out, multi-orgasm producing, special fun toy. I can’t say enough about it; the magic wand has spread so much joy in my time of loneliness that I wish everyone had one.

The Hitachi Magic Wand is a two-speed vibrator that has a soft, round, jelly filled head which comfortably massages your little man in the boat. You can purchase this toy in any sex shop, or at Toys in Babeland on 94 Rivington Street. There is also an array of enticing accessory pieces that you can attach to the pulsating, hardcore vibrating head. I purchased a blue plastic G-Spot finder dildo piece. And judging from the fact that I was all alone on V-Day, and am still alive, this vibrator has supplied me with hours of orgasmic, asexual, passion-packed, five finger pleasure. If you are a fan of a non-intrusive vibrator, with intense pulsating vibes then the Hitachi Magic Wand is your new best friend.

Connie’s favorite stress reliever…

My favorite toy was a gift given to me by my good friend, Molly Monogamy. And it is truly the gift that keeps on giving. The Nicole Vibrator Fun Pack, in midnight blue, is a package gift that cums with a vibrator, two titillating attachments, a beaded anal probe and the G spotter. They are all made out of a soft rubber that slips right on the vibrator to tickle your fancy. The vibrator has a two-speed dial on the end which can be set to any pulse you wish with or without any attachment.

When I hit the slit, I like to start out slow and just before I'm really ready go off I turn it all the way up. My favorite attachment is the G spotter; it’s a long curved accessory that gets me in the right spot every time. I love using my vibrator when I am restless and cannot sleep. It puts me right to sleep with the sweetest erotic dreams. This technique has proven to me time and time again that it’s a winning combination. I don’t travel much on the Hershey Highway, so I have never tried the beaded bootie probe. It is much larger than a finger and frankly it intimidates me. But Guys and Dolls alike should explore their bodies; it is the key to satisfaction. If you don't know what gets you wet, how is your lover supposed to?

Astro-Sexual Guide to the Aries March 20th – April 19th

Ah the Aries Ram, our Astro-Sexual zodiac sign of the month. Like their signature symbol the ram, Ariens are all about ramming, dominating, and being forceful in the bedroom. Be forewarned all you sappy, lovey dovey types; bumping uglies with an Aries mate my not be your best bet. Male and female Aries typically view sex as more of a physical act than mushy romance. If you are looking to be used and abused during a one-night stand, this fire sign will light, ignite and burst into flames before your very eyes. But once the passion is over, they will be gone before you wake and may have trouble remembering your name.

The good news is that this partner’s passion will not just end in the bedroom. If you win the heart of an Aries you’ll get an excellent bodyguard in the balance. Although sex with an Aries may be fast and furious, if you are one’s great catch, don’t fret because they are not prone to cheating- just make sure that you listen and always obey. Being the red hot, loud mouth flames they are, Aries are not afraid to speak their minds, especially during the nasty. Faster, slower, harder, and more are all words that one would be likely to hear during an intense and passionate encounter with a true Aries.

Aries mates will try just about anything once; so don’t be afraid to breakout the whipped cream, handcuffs, and whips. Their dominating nature could lead to more sucking and eating out, because it puts them in the driver’s seat.

When you become interested in finding the erogenous zone for this fire sign, think head. Aries are interested in a different kind of head, the one that sits atop their pretty neck. Licking, nibbling, and kissing a Ram around the face and neck is a great way to flood the deck of a female or get a male to stand at immediate attention.

Aries are extremely sexual so get ready for ahhhhh-inspiring adventures. Remember to show so class, give some sass and they’ll always come back for a piece of ass.

‘Sex and the City’ star Sarah Jessica Parker (3/25) and Ferris Bueller himself, Matthew Broderick, are a red hot Aries couple that disprove the belief that an Aries on Aries flame is easily blown out.

Sexually obsessed Hugh Hefner (4/9), the reigning King of Soft Porn, belongs to this fiery sign and wears the crown for all insatiable Aries lovers out there.

Sweet Transvestite Tim Curry (4/19) is also a red roaring Aries. Even though Dr. Frank N. Furter was just a character that he played, the man exudes sex appeal to all genders.

What’s your favorite position??

Cowgirl (Girl on top)
This position has many names and variations. For women, this is a specific position where the ladies take control of the tempo, speed and intensity of penetration. Men can use this position as a pit stop from constant pumping and leave the hard work up to the lady in his lap. Guys can help by thrusting while lying back, as well as by grabbing your kitten’s waist and helping to set a comfortable pace.

Guys, get involved; don’t just be the bump on the lump! Since your hands are free and your mate’s may not be, use this as an opportunity to caress her all over. Start from the top and go all the way downtown. And as with every position, try your best not to neglect a woman’s nipples, as nip play can sometimes make or break a Big O.

Princess Fifi - A Lonely O
Despite my dominating Aries nature, I do not favor this position for many reasons. One reason being that I am a taker and not a giver when it comes to penetration. I like my male counterpart to be the champion and go for the gold. Usually when I end up in this position I don’t get to finish…not fair! So I end up faking and moving to the next position of choice. I’m a firm believer in letting my male partner dominate me; I get my chance to dominate when it comes to greasing his pipe. Besides that, every time I take the lead, my partners just can’t keep up. As far as I’m concerned, the position that ends the party gets an O from me.

Connie Lingus - O-O-O Score!
Although it doesn’t go all the way, this position gets me going. I love to ride with my cowboy boots on- for real! (But minus the spurs… that could get messy.) Many times when my partner’s performance doesn’t seem up to par, I like to take control of the situation. It’s not my most favorite position but one that I know how to make work for myself. I am quite adventurous in the sack and love to have fun with sex. But this position is definitely one that gets my bed shaking, cuz I’m the one setting the pace!

Our Hot Tips

Princess Fifi
When it comes to riding the bull, it would be a good idea to make sure that you have a flat, comfortable surface. Try to insure that the surface below is not wet or slippery. Avoid taking this position on top of a bunk bed, and be aware of low ceilings. And for god’s sake, guys, if you are in this position and your mate doesn’t look like she’s there yet, but you are ready to burst; be a man , flip her over, and rail her hard!

Connie Lingus
To ensure that my mate doesn’t blow his load I found a great technique that gets me every time. I rock back and forth or in a circular motion while resting on my partner’s body. This gives more attention to my clit and also helps my man last longer because it is less stimulating for him. Then I can set myself up for bed shaking, sweat dripping multi O’s.

Songs About Fucking:

Five Finger Pleaser of the Month
For the A-Sexual Aries, I, Princess Fifi, currently the President of this group, my suggestion is to get out your favorite toys, lock your doors and turn up the sounds of Massive Attack’s “Angel.”

Puppy Love Pick of the Month
Looking for that tune to tantalize and bring on the passion for your next encounter? Try PM Dawns “I’d Die Without You” and the two of you can sing along while staring into each other eyes. The beat will make for a slow n’ steady bed rockin’ pace.

Kinky Dom Cut of the Month
For you and your newest slave, slap on the leather, grab a pole and blast Depeche Mode’s “Stripped” for your own private strip tease.

Make Up Song of the Month
A fellow Aries and superb soul singer, Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get it On” (or practically any other song sang by his sexually healing voice) will turn the heat up and make for a sensual and spectacular reunion.

Break Up Song of the Month
So that douche bag broke your sweet little heart, huh? Burn the bitch! Kill those sad thoughts with the happy upbeat tunes of Maroon 5’s “This Love.’ The catchy boppy tune should help ease the pain.