“Stupidity
is also a gift of God,
but one mustn't misuse it”
- Pope John Paul II (Karol Josef Wojtyla)
A Look Back:
Karol Wojtyla, a Polish Cardinal, was named Pope on
October 16, 1978. He served the flock of Catholics until
his death on April 2, 2005. Lets take a look at the
reign of Pope John Paul II and some of his main contributions
to the world:
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- The first non-Italian pope in over 450 years, ending the
streak started by Pope Jean-François I who, in 1536,
surrendered the Papacy over to a marauding John Calvin, who
immediately handed it back, claiming that, according to predestination,
he had been Pope since birth.
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- The most traveled
Pope in history, going a total of over a half-million
miles (30 times around the earth) while visiting almost
140 countries. He is the biggest papal globetrotter
since Pope “Sweetwater” Jones XI. (Also,
he was the first Pope to be named an honorary Harlem
Globetrotter in 2000.)
- The 3rd longest pontificate in
Papal history. John Paul II lost only to St. Peter,
the first pope, who, according to the bible, lived for
300 years, and, of course, Urban II who turned out to
be an evil robot. |
- John Paul II named more saints than all of his predecessors
combined. When asked why he named so many saints, the Pope
replied, “Simple- science is outpacing us. Can you possibly
comprehend the amount of things we need to come up with patron
saints for? I mean, who has to be the patron saint of the
Chia Pet?? Religion doesn’t have the convenience of
an assembly line. We just needed to lower our requirements.
Soon, we may have to accept movie stars that just played saints.
We’re desparate.”
- He turned the Catholic Church to the
people. He did this in several ways- he opened up morning
masses to the public for the first time in history; he, unlike
any other Pope, made it his mission to take his message directly
to the people, instead of just preaching from a dais; he was
the first Pope to literally embrace women (and was known to
give them kisses on the cheek) instead of having them kiss
his Papal ring; and he was the first Pope to ever visit a
synagogue or a mosque defying and disproving the long-standing
Catholic belief that it would make his brain slowly melt.
Pope John Paul II was a very humane, caring, compassionate,
and personally accessible man. He was the Pope of the People.
Regardless of any jokes I made, John Paul II was an absolutely
brilliant man, who lived what he preached. I’m positive
that - like all of us who grew up Catholic during John Paul
II’s term - he helped me believe I can be a great person.
His death is mourned by all of us.
A Look Ahead:
“Proclaim forgiveness and
reconciliation, which are the only way to achieve stable
harmony.”
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Pope “Eggs” Benedict MMMth (Joseph Ratzinger)
His successor was going to have
a tough act to follow, and, after four black smokes,
Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger white smoked his way into
the title Pope “Eggs” Benedict MMMth.
To judge him now would be just
making stuff up (something I, nor any serious journalist
would never do). So… Let’s look at Pope
“Eggs” Benedict the MMMth and what exciting
changes we can expect from the new Pope:
None. It’s the Catholic Church.
They haven’t even changed a light bulb since the
Council of Trent (1545-1563). |
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